Oops, too late

Do you know the feeling when someone texts you and you take weeks to reply?

With every day you remember that you have to text back, it gets harder to do so. And then comes a point when you feel like the acceptable amount of time has passed.

Any contact from then forward is only going to be awkward, with the silent question filling the room ‚Why didn’t you reply to my message?‘.

I was busy. I didn’t feel like it. I was annoyed. I just forgot.

Whatever it was, it will tell them they weren’t important enough.

So here we go:

Oops, hello 2021. Sorry, I took so long, but I really was annoyed by 2020 and didn’t feel like greeting you yet.

Lets see where you and I are going.

Photo by Klara Kulikova on Unsplash

What a Wonderful Morning it is

Today is a good day. In a difficult year with that many struggles thrown at us, this morning shows us the positive change ahead. We are at the peak, everything else is getting better now.

I am sitting on a train right now, looking at the mountains outside, taking in the last rays of sunshine, and I feel a huge relief. For many in the world, the past week (and the past four years) was an entertaining yet cringy shitshow. But until today just as many of us didn’t feel the damage that has been done. Now knowing there is an end to the madness soon, just reveals how tense and anxious most of the world has been. We have been on high alert for so long, we thought that it’s normal. But it is not. Demonstrations, anger, and attacks have given way to dancing, celebrating, and empathy. We get a break.

A desperately needed break from hiding, running, fighting, and dying. Our faith to be able to induce positive change has returned. I want to remind you of something while we are light-spirited:

The bubble that each of us lives in can get very dark and small at times. It sometimes seems like there is no way out of it. No matter who tells you that you don’t deserve to be heard, supported, or loved because of any aspect of yourself, you need to remember that you can kick anyone out of your bubble. I mean, take a look at who just got kicked out of the world’s bubble. As I said before, you decide who you spend your time on. If your bubble makes you feel bad, expand it.

What Drives our Behavior?

Every person, no matter the political views, religion, sexuality, skin color, education, and whatever else you can think of that might divide us, deserves to express their feelings, and be heard. By that, I don’t mean yelling at people and bringing others down. We fundamentally have to understand that any action taken by a person, may it be only a look, a sound or aggression underlies an actual unfulfilled need.

Human beings have needs and if those are neglected, they turn to behavior that comes off as annoying, offending, aggressive. Unfortunately, most people never learn to listen to their needs, let alone communicate them or attend to them themselves. We expect others to cater to our needs and if they don’t it is not our fault that we are miserable. Hell, we don’t even learn to understand what we feel! If you ask a person how they feel, many will most likely just say ‘good’ or ‘bad’, well what kind of an emotion is that?!

Do You Know What it is That You Feel?

The chemical cocktail that sets our mood and dictates our behavior is diverse, so we should learn to give each and every cocktail that might show up a name. If we are able to differentiate between disappointment, resentment, trouble, hopelessness, doubt, terror, excitement, pride, joy, compassion, we can then move on to name what we need to counter or enhance that feeling.

If you feel hopeless, you might need someone who listens to your worries and ensures you that you are going to be okay. You need compassion to counter your irritation.

If you feel loved, you might want someone to hug you and tell you that they love you too. You need love to enhance your feeling.

If you feel anger you might need someone to help you figure out what is making you angry so you can let go of the anger. You need empathy to counter your aggression.

See where I am going?

Naming your feelings opens doors to let others know what you need from them to be where you want to be within yourself. Nobody can give you what you need if you don’t understand what you need in the first place.

He Wouldn’t be Like That if He Knew

Circling back to this morning. When we learn to see the need behind someone’s behavior, we understand why they are acting in a certain way and we probably feel with them. I don’t get angry looking at that Twitter account. I see a person who feels desperate and who is terrified of what is ahead. But I am sure that person doesn’t even know that’s what they are feeling. I am even more sure that nobody around that person is able to counter those feelings with them. Hence the irritating behavior.

I wish for everyone to understand how feelings work and what they translate to. How each and every one of us can learn to focus on the feelings of our fellow humans rather than what they say and do. If we could just all learn that, we would be so much better at solving conflicts.

Unfortunately, I can’t teach that. I am still learning myself, but I want you to take the light heart you have today and buy a book of someone who can teach us. So that our much-needed break can blossom into that bright future we have ahead of us once all this years‘ hardship is gone.

Photo by NASA on Unsplash

Waiting for You

Hi love. Hi, it’s me again.

We haven’t talked in months. I miss you.

Last time, you told me you would get back to me when time allows.

That’s been three months now, there wasn’t time yet.

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My Latest Desire and COVID Killing it

I am back! Well, sort of. Sorry, for being MIA the past three weeks. Sometimes life just takes over and there is nothing you can do about it. Work has been demanding more than before, weekends were filled to the top, and I was in a creative rod while also being preoccupied with my own mind. But I have been prepping something for you, which I can’t share yet because somebody else still needs to figure things out! I am really excited to share it with you in the upcoming weeks though! For now, I want to tell you about my latest desire and COVID killing it.

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Choose Your People

How many conversations do you have throughout the week which leave you feeling empty? As we all go about our lives we forget to listen. It is important to choose your people consciously and to really listen to them.

With limited time we have learned to quickly get our word in, make sure the other person knows what we think. But meaningful conversation comes from the genuine interest in the experiences, feelings, and thoughts of the person across the table. Many days go by in which we talk but in which we don’t know more about one another after talking.

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When You Don’t Know What To Write

Hi! Well, I am empty. The past four weeks were crazy at work and I honestly don’t know how I managed to keep posting on here. When you don’t know what to write, just talk about how you feel. That’s what I am going to do today.

Writing this blog is great. I enjoy getting into topics that mean a lot to me or thinking of short stories to share. But as life gets busy, sometimes writing is hard.

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My Favorite Club Is In Danger

Six months of COVID-19 protective measures are behind us. It is crazy to think that the world can be shut down culturally for this long. And I for my part am missing the parties, events, and togetherness of club culture. So, let me reminisce a little and explain why my favorite club is in danger.

To be honest, going to regular clubs is usually not my thing. They are too crowded, the entry fees are too high, the music normally does not meet my taste, and well, the drinks are too expensive. Therefore I stopped going to clubs years ago.

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