Hello again my loves, it has been a while. Today’s topic needed a lot of preparation. I had to work up courage to actually share this online, for everyone to see. Hence five weeks of being silent. I am going to share with you my way of finding my sadistic side. Dad, if you are reading this, this one is not for you, unless you want to be embarrassed 😉
My boyfriend introduced me to the world of BDSM when we first starting dating. I just ended a 2,5-year relationship, that left me sexually unfulfilled. Due to the fact, that my ex didn’t want me to date women, and also the vague feeling that our sex was missing something. But I couldn’t put my finger on it.
When I met the current boyfriend, he opened up about his kinks on our very first date, which he has never done before. Instead of being shocked, I was intrigued. He told me all the details and I just wanted to learn more and more. Pretty quickly I realized that living BDSM safely needs teaching and learning. Because I learn better from strangers, I started my search for a dominatrix who could teach me all there is to know. So far, I had only spanked some butts and twisted some nipples.
Madame Lisa – My Kinky Angel
It is not as easy to find someone to teach you the art of BDSM as you might think. In Germany, most dominatrixes only train women who attempt to actually work as a professional dominatrix afterwards. And the few who offer classes for curious minds don’t seem very interested in the individual journey of their client.
It took weeks until I found Madame Lisa. This wonderful human being is one of those souls that I don’t ever want to lose. We initially talked on the phone and I told her about what I had in mind for my unveiling of BDSM. She laughed at my wish to learn everything professionally before taking it to someone else because she is the same way. I felt instantly understood and welcomed. A few months later I made my way to Stuttgart to attempt one of her courses.
Couples, Dominatrixes, and Me
She opened the door to her classroom. Her kind eyes and smile warmed my heart. This lovely woman is supposed to teach me how to safely inflict pain on others? Oh, and how she would teach me.
The group of the course was a mixture of couples, aspiring dominatrixes, and me. Lisa got support from one of her slaves, who served us food and drinks and functioned as an exercise object for us. He was tall, had a mountain of muscles on his shoulders, and is outfit showed off his large manhood. I enjoyed this piece of eye candy and looked forward to practicing on him.
Lisa welcomed us and talked us through the agenda for the day. A total of eight hours. We would first get into the basics of BDSM, how to be safe, what to look out for in a BDSM companion and what a good session comprises of. Later we would move on to some beginner friendly practices.
The Moment I Found My Sadism
The day came to my personal crescendo when Lisa’s slave chose me to torture his nipples. He kneeled before me and offered me the sharpest nipple-clamps I had ever seen. I was worried that I would hurt him, but he encouraged me with his excitement in his eyes. I attached one to his nipple while Lisa explained how to do it safely, and then moved to the other. His face didn’t even flinch, he just focused on my face waiting for me to return my sight back to his eyes. He looked thankful.
Lisa was pleased with how it was going and instructed me to push the clamps together with my fingers. I was hesitant because I thought they must already hurt him badly. But he took my hands and moved them to his nipples. Well love, if you want it you get it. And for the first time in my life, I noticed my sadism for what it was. I enjoyed how he willingly endured the pain, how his expression derailed when I squeezed as hard as I could.
I kept living in that moment while Lisa moved on to demonstrate different ways to fixate someone by their wrists or ankles. Tying knots is not my strong suit at all. They take too long, you can mess it all up easily, and to be honest, I wasn’t paying much attention when Lisa showed the different types to us. Using bondage tape is much more my style, quick, effective, down, and dirty.
I Brought Him to His Knees
My interest peaked again when Lisa introduced different tools to spank someone. By hand, with a paddle, with whips, crops, or my personal favorite: canes. Why are canes my favorite? They inflict a lot of pain without danger if you use them right. And because Lisa chose me to demonstrate the power of canes on her slave. Her instructions were clear: hit his ass as hard as you can and don’t stop until he falls down to his knees (of course he had the instruction to go on his knees if he can’t take it anymore).
There was this mountain of a man in front of me. Huge, naked, and vulnerable, turning his back toward me. I positioned myself next to him so that my right hand was able to take a big swing. The first hit struck perfectly. But he didn’t show any reaction. My sadistic mind charged a stronger swing. No reaction. I went again, again, harder, and again. Until he fell. Down on his knees, turning his head toward me, smiling. Lisa was ecstatic. ‘Look at this tiny woman, swinging so hard until he goes down on his knees, so sexy!’ she exclaimed. I blushed. My inner struggle between liberating my sadistic trait and being ashamed for somewhat publicly engaging in kinkiness controlled my face. But frankly, it made me happy.
She Opened the Door to My Sadistic Mind
After eight long hours, many new experiences, and feelings, I hugged Lisa goodbye with so much gratitude in my heart. I was sure to come back (even though it was going to take two years before I did). Thanks to Lisa my sadistic side exploded throughout the following months. Now I am your sex-hungry, sadistic, dominant woman, who will watch your face with delight when you take the pain that she chooses for you.
If you are curious about Lisa and her coaching, find her website. Though, she only offers her courses in German.
P.S. Her slave and I actually met on the same evening again. By accident, on a BDSM train, where friends and I went for a party. But what happened there is the story for another time 😉
Photo by Klara Kulikova on Unsplash