I am a person who craves validation like anybody else. So, of course, Tinder has been part of my life. But man, dating apps suck! I will tell you why Tinder is bad, from my experience:
When I started to use the app in 2013, it was all fun and games. Back then, I only swiped for guys with the oblivious intent to maybe find someone who is relationship material. Guess how that turned out. The app was new, people were actually still talking when they matched and a loooooot of dates took place. One or two flings came from it too, but it was just a fun way to meet new people.
Since then the app has evolved into an annoying pastime which rarely brings any value to my life.
Matches flood into my inbox, hardly anyone ever initiates a conversation anymore, and I don’t even remember when my last date came from it. I am collecting matches left and right, I text people and what happens? Nothing! It seems to me, people don’t use Tinder to find dates or connect with people, they use it to boost their confidence by hoarding matches!
Single Women are mostly offered threesomes
A lot of couples are on Tinder now too. Most Superlikes I get, are sent from couples who want to experience a threesome. Well, I don’t like your male partner, and no matter how often you send that Superlike, I won’t match you! It is just lazy to think you can match, have a coffee and then fuck. There is so much more to a threesome! You need to actually put in some work and get to know that person! You need to know your boundaries as a couple, you need to find out what the boundaries of the third person are, you need to find a dynamic that works between all of you before jumping into bed together. Otherwise, this will be a horrifying experience for you! So please, stop searching on Tinder. Go to a sex party instead, I am certain you will get lucky there!
But, moving onto why Tinder is bad for me personally
The most cringe-worthy experience I had, was with a woman who was into BDSM. I am into it, but rarely allow anyone to dominate me. Well, I was willing to try with her. My type of playing is very faced toward the other person. I want to experience the edge in between what that person likes, and what I know her body can take. Never would I do anything, that will put the other person off, or anything that the other person only endures for me. And I expect the same from whoever gets to play with me. I can never get off when somebody is arrogantly trying to put themselves above me or makes me feel like shit. Unfortunately, a lot of “dominant” personalities have never been taught that this is not necessary to actually dominate someone.
This woman I mentioned was one of those. She never cared to get to know my turn-ons or limits. A date which we arranged was canceled by her. But she still thought she was allowed to give me tasks like kneeling on uncooked rice. Hell no! If you think you can skip all the in-person communication by coming onto the app and commanding people around for your entertainment, get out of here!
It seems people want to replace personal contact with meaningless small talk to get their sexual excitement on. Well, I say, try that same method in real life! I will be sitting here watching the disaster unfold.
P.S. Not only bad things happen on Tinder! I have actually met one of my girlfriends on the app, and she has been a part of my life for two years now! Love you C.
P.P.S. This is only my experience and maybe it is my fault Tinder doesn’t work for me, who knows.
P.P.P.S. Of course, I still use Tinder 😉
Photo provided by Bianca Berg on Unsplash